Episode 79 - Life Choices

"Thanks for bringing Meghan home," Amanda said to Andrew as he and Meghan entered her apartment.

"I'm just glad to spend a little time with her," Andrew said, hugging Meghan around her shoulders.

"Did you have dinner?" Amanda asked. When Andrew said that they had not, she extended an invitation. "Why don't you stay and eat with us? Meghan, you can set the table and tell me about your day."

"Can I help?" Andrew asked as he followed Amanda and Meghan into the kitchen.

"No, it's almost ready. Just have a seat."

Andrew sat down at the kitchen table as Amanda resumed preparing dinner and Meghan danced around the room as she set the table, the music and dance moves still fresh in her mind from that afternoon's rehearsal.

"I'm sure you could use a home-cooked meal. You must be getting tired of takeout."

"How long are you going to stay at the hotel, Dad?" Meghan asked.

"I don't think I will be there much longer. Shayna and I are going to couple's counseling, trying to work out what to do next."

"Are you going to move back in with Shayna and Julian? He told me he misses you."

"I don't know, pumpkin, but I miss Julian too."

"How was practice, Meggy?" Amanda asked, changing the subject to something lighter.

"It was great. You won't believe what Jasmyn S. told me . . ."

Meghan started chatting enthusiastically about the latest gossip and goings on at the school. When she did rarely pause a moment to take a breath, Amanda would jump in with a question or comment, seeming to be just as invested in Meghan's social life as the teenager was. Amanda's attention was only drawn away when the phone rang.

"Hey, babe. Where are you?" she asked as she left Meghan and Andrew to their conversation while she answered the phone.

"Still at work. I just wanted to let you know I'm going to be late."

"Oh," Amanda said with a disappointed sigh. "That's been happening a lot lately."

"That's the way it goes. I'm working on running a simulation, and the program often runs slow," Ben explained. Even over the phone, he could feel Amanda's attention drift away when he talked about his work. He wouldn't be surprised if she was as distracted by the voices in the background as he was. "Who is Meghan talking to?"

"Andrew's here. He picked up Meghan after practice, and I invited him to dinner. I'm sorry you aren't here. Do you want me to save you a plate?"

"No, I'll grab something on my way home. I might be very late."

After saying their goodbyes, Ben hung up the phone and turned his attention back to his computer screen. He didn't have to stay late. This could have waited for tomorrow, but lately he found himself in less of a hurry to get home.

He didn't have anything against Meghan. She was a nice girl, but ever since she started living with them full-time, it felt like the house was filled with nonstop chatter about things he had no interest in and conversations he had nothing to contribute to. The peacefulness of his lab with the quiet bubbling of his fishtanks as background noise was a welcome break.

He closed his eyes for a moment and relaxed as he waited for his computer program to finish running.

"Don't you ever go home?"

"What?" Startled, Ben looked up to see a smiling Zara in the doorway.

"I thought I was going to be the last one to leave the office tonight, but it seems like you're always here."

He motioned towards the computer and made his excuses. "This program is slow, and you know me, once I get going on something, it's hard to drag myself away. Why are you here so late?"

"I took a long lunch to look at apartments, and I'm making up the time."

"Find anything good?"

"I did. I'm going to sign the lease tomorrow."

"That's great. Now I'll have someone to call if I need a couch to crash on," he said without thinking. By the stunned look on Zara's face, he knew he had said too much. "Sorry. That was a bad joke. I didn't mean to say that out loud."

"Are you and Amanda having problems?" Zara asked with concern. Then she quickly added, "You don't have to answer that. I probably shouldn't have asked."

Zara took a step back to make a hasty retreat from the lab, but Ben's blunt response made her freeze in place.

"Yes. I don't think it's working out." Ben had never said those words or even allowed himself to fully think them, but the sentiment had been brewing, not fully articulated, in the back of his mind. Once the words were out there, he felt like a weight had been lifted.

"Things are great sometimes. Like on New Year's Eve when we went out, just the two of us, we had a great time, but I'm starting to realize we don't have much in common."

"I'm sorry," Zara offered. She wanted to be sympathetic, but she felt like she was intruding and had no business getting involved with his personal life.

"I don't know what I'm going to do."

"I'm sure you'll figure out the right thing."

"I guess." This was a new revelation for him, and he knew he needed some time to mull it over.

When he glanced back at the computer screen, he realized he had suddenly lost interest in working on his simulation. He had too much on his mind.

He turned to Zara. "Hey, you want to get dinner with me? I promise I won't talk about relationships. I just want to get out of here and get out of my own head for a while."

Zara shrugged. "Yeah, okay."

* * * * *

After dinner, Meghan went upstairs to work on her homework, and Andrew insisted on helping Amanda with the dishes.

"Thanks for inviting me to stay," Andrew said as he helped clear the table. "This was better than takeout alone in my hotel room."

"I hoped it would be."

"It was really nice," he mused. "But it makes me think about all of the moments I missed out on when Meghan was growing up, picking her up after school, talking over family dinners, the everyday moments. This is how it should have been all along."

"I know," Amanda agreed wistfully. "I'm sorry it wasn't always like that for the two of you, for all of us. I know it's totally my fault that everything turned out the way that it did. I don't know if I ever told you how sorry I am about everything."

"I know," Andrew assured her. "What happened between us was a long time ago. I'm glad we're in a better place now. I just hope Shayna and I can get to a better place too."

There had been conflicts since Meghan moved in with him and Shayna, naturally, but overall, he looked back on the last few months with the four of them living together as a family as a happy time, probably the best of his life.

"I'm sure you will figure it out. You and I did, and we had a lot more to overcome because of me." Amanda thought back to her marriage to Andrew and how it ended. "All I ever wanted was a simple life with a husband and kids. I went a little crazy when it wasn't happening the way I thought it should."

"A little?" Andrew said skeptically. "You faked an entire pregnancy."

"Oh, don't remind me," she said, embarrassed. Enough time had passed now that she could look back on it as a foolish action of her younger self, but it was still her worst moment and the time she most regretted. The memory of how she acted still made her cringe.

"You know, in my mind, Alma was always supposed to be the childless spinster sister, and I was going to have it all, first a career, then a husband, and finally children. When she got married and pregnant so soon after their wedding, and we had been trying so long to have a baby and I wasn't sure if I would ever get pregnant, I just lost it. My world just completely fell apart, and I had to fix it somehow. I never would have imagined I would be a single mother of one and Alma would be happily married for almost twenty years with four kids.

"And the crazy thing is, after all these years, I'm still jealous of her," she scoffed. "If I can't be the one married with a houseful of kids, I'm going to be the sister living a fabulous life with a handsome younger man."

"Is that why you're dating Ben? To get one up on your sister?"

"No! Of course not! I'm dating Ben for him. But I can't say I haven't made the most of the situation. I can't deny that in the back of my mind I thought, 'Ha! Having a passionate romance with a hot, younger guy is something Alma would never do.' The sad part is that Alma doesn't even care about what I do or don't do. I've been playing these sibling rivalry games all on my own."

"Now that you know that, what are you going to do about it?"

* * * * *

"Mom, would you sign my permission slip?" Joseph asked as Alma was preparing dinner.

"Ask your father and take that tray on the counter in to him."

As Joseph picked up the dinner tray and went into the living room, Jacqueline entered through the foyer.

"Mom, there's someone at the door."

"Is it your brother and sister?" she asked. Her oldest two should have been home by now. She had told them to come straight home after Jeremy's basketball practice was over.

"No, someone else."

Alma turned off the stove, wiped her hands, and went to answer the door.

Her breath caught in her throat and her step faltered when she saw Mason on the other side of the door. For a second she thought she was dreaming again, but she quickly managed to compose herself.

"I know I have to stop showing up like this," Mason said when she opened the door.

For a split second Alma thought he was referring to her dream, but she knew that couldn't be possible.

"But I wanted to check on you."

"Me? Why?"

"I heard you turned down a subbing opportunity and-" He paused mid-sentence when he saw Edward hobble into the room on crutches.

"Alma, who's here?"

Mason quickly redirected his sentence. "I can see you have other things going on. I'm sorry I shouldn't have bothered you at home."

As Mason retreated from the house, Alma gave a confused Edward a shrug and followed after Mason.

Jeremy was pulling into the driveway as Mason hurried down the walk.

"Mason, wait!" Alma called after him. He stopped to look at her, but she had her eyes on the teenagers getting out of the car, waiting for them to be out of earshot before she spoke.

"Unbelievable," Judith muttered under her breath as she glared at Alma and Mr. Clark and stormed into the house, leaving a confused Jeremy to follow her.

Once the kids were inside, Mason spoke first. "I'm sorry about your husband's injury. I didn't know. It makes sense you would turn down the job to take care of him. It was narcissistic of me to think your decision would have anything to do with me."

"Is that why you're here?"

"I wanted to clear the air about what happened at the play. I know it caused an awkward situation, and I wanted to apologize."

"That's not necessary."

"No, it is. I stepped out of line. I don't know what came over me, but I hope you can forgive me. I hope that someday we'll have the chance to work together again because you're a really great teacher. And . . .that's what I really came here to say."

The meek smile he gave her made Alma's heart beat faster, but she tried to keep her cool. "I appreciate it. I hope we'll work together again too."