Episode 62 - Supposed to Be

Reese sat at the kitchen island with a stack of bridal magazines spread before her. She hadn't realized how much planning went into a wedding. There were so many little details to worry about, invitations, wedding favors, bridal parties, roles for the families of the bride and groom, and the list went on. She was finding herself completely overwhelmed.

At times like these she wished she had a female friend to confide in. She'd never had a mother or sisters and she'd always been kind of a loner. She wondered if it was normal to not be into this kind of thing or if she was feeling uncertain about marriage itself. Her only serious relationships had been with Blaine and Simon. Making a commitment like this for the first time in her life was a big step. She hoped she was truly ready for this.

"How's the planning going?" Natalie asked as she grabbed breakfast and glanced at the magazines on the counter.

"Not so good," Reese admitted. "I think I might be in over my head."

"Maybe you could hire someone to help, like a wedding planner," Natalie suggested.

"That's a good idea." The idea of having someone else do the work for her did take the pressure off. "I might do that."

"Glad I could help," Natalie said cheerfully before saying goodbye to her mother and heading out the door.

As Natalie headed to Maura's house, she ran into Blaine on the sidewalk. She had found herself feeling a little awkward around him since he had lost his memory and hearing that he had moved out of his home with Cassie to stay with the Spencers left her feeling even more uncomfortable. She wasn't sure how she was supposed to act and was afraid of saying the wrong thing.

"Hi, Natalie. On your way to school?" he asked.

The normalcy of his greeting and that he remembered her name made her feel more at ease. "Yes, I'm getting a ride with my friends. What are you up to?"

"Not much, since I'm not working right now. I'm just taking a walk. It keeps me busy and helps me clear my head."

"Sounds like you're in the same boat as my mom. She's not working right now either and seems kind of restless."

"Do you think she would want some company?" he asked.

Natalie shrugged. "Maybe."

"Before you go, I want you to know that I might not remember much of anything clearly, but I'll always be here if you need me. I'm just a call away any time."

"Thanks. That means a lot," she said.

They parted ways just as Cassie was driving past on her way to take Brooke and Doug to school.

Cassie's heart dropped as she saw Blaine. It pained her that he was so close, yet so far away from them. She had hoped once he came home from the hospital, things would start to get back to normal, but they were more distant than ever. She sighed as she wondered if she would ever get her life back.

Brooke could see how upset her mom was even though she tried to hide her feelings. She glared at Natalie through the window. Why did her dad have to be talking to her? She was always in the way.

* * * * *

When she heard a horn honk and saw Jeremy's car pull into the driveway, Maura ran outside to meet him.

"Since our mom's not working at the school anymore Jeremy is driving us," Judith called out from the passenger seat "Do you want to ride with us?"

"Sure!" Maura said excitedly. "But do you have room for Natalie and Vince? She was going to ride with us today."

Jeremy glanced into the backseat. "I think we can make room for two more."

"It's been a while since I rode in your car," Maura commented. "I know our first date ended in a disaster, but we shouldn't let that stop us from going out again. It's been a while."

"I know," Jeremy said hesitantly. He looked at his sister, hoping she would help him out, but she seemed more interested in watching him struggle on his own. "But I've been really busy with school and basketball is starting up again and I really need to get a job to help pay for my car. Honestly, you might be better off dating someone else who can be a better boyfriend to you and be able to take you out more often."

"You need to stop putting yourself down. I don't care how often we go out. I just want to go out with you," Maura insisted.

Maura's attention was drawn away by Natalie who approached from the sidewalk. "Hey, Jeremy is going to drive us to school. I hope that's okay."

"Yeah, that's fine," she called back.

Jeremy had been hoping she would have been more excited about that news, but she barely spared him a glance. Instead, she seemed more interested in Vince who had just come outside. The pair smiled at each other as they both headed toward the car.

"Looks like we're all here," Jeremy said as he focused on getting back into the driver's seat. "Let's go."

* * * * *

When Reese answered her front door, she was surprised to see Blaine standing on the other side.

"Hey, I hope I'm not bothering you. I ran into Natalie outside and it sounded like you could use some company. If I'm wrong, I can just go."

"No, it's fine. You can come in," she said stepping aside.

Blaine took in the decor as he followed Reese into the kitchen. "Should this place look familiar to me?"

"Probably not," Reese said. "We haven't lived here long." When Blaine gave her a confused look, she clarified, "Simon, Natalie, and I."

"I didn't think I should recognize your house, but it's hard to tell if it's just something I don't remember."

"How are you handling your memory loss?" she asked as she quickly swept the bridal magazines off the counter.

Blaine shrugged. "It's weird. It's hard when you can't trust your own mind about what you know or don't know." He gestured toward the magazines that Reese was unsuccessfully trying to move out of sight. "Are you planning a wedding?

"Yes. Simon and I have been engaged for a while and we decided it was time to think about setting a date." She gestured toward the table, inviting Blaine to take a seat as she sat down herself.

"Congratulations . . . I know this is going to sound weird, but we were never married to each other, were we?"

"Oh, no," Reese said shaking her head.

Blaine frowned. So many of his memories were playing tricks on him. He could picture standing at the altar across from Reese as clear as anything. He could see the details on her dress and the ring as he placed it on her finger. He shook the thoughts from his head. "That ridiculous, huh? How long did we date?"

"A couple of years," Reese responded.

"And it was serious?"

"It was getting to be."

"I guess it would have been since we had a daughter together," Blaine reasoned. In his mind, he had all of these false memories of Natalie's birth and spending time with her as she was growing up, but he knew they couldn't be true. These childhood memories of Natalie and his children with Cassie couldn't have coexisted at the same time. "I never knew about her until recently? I wasn't there when she was born or when she was growing up at all?"

"No."

"Why not? Why did we break up?"

Reese sighed. She really didn't want to get into this again. She thought coming clean with Blaine meant she had finally put everything from the past behind them. The last thing she wanted was to rehash it over again.

"Please, it would really help me to know."

"When I was younger I never planned on having a family, getting married, or having kids. So when things started getting serious between us, I started to get scared and I ended it. When I found out I was pregnant with Natalie after we broke up, I was going to put her up for adoption, but after she was born, I just couldn't go through with it. By that time you were already dating Cassie."

Blaine nodded as he put away that information and tried to reconcile it with everything he knew or thought he knew. "So you stepped up and raised Natalie and now you're getting married?"

"I surprised myself," she said with a shrug. "Sometimes life can go in a completely different direction than you ever imagined for yourself."

"I get that," Blaine muttered to himself. "Do you think things would have been different if I hadn't gotten together with Cassie? What if she and I never got married and had kids?"

"I don't know," Reese said hesitantly. She didn't want to step into that minefield and this line of questioning was making her increasingly uncomfortable. "Those things did happen. I don't think pretending otherwise would do any good."

"Sometimes it feels like it never happened," Blaine admitted. "Everything in my mind is so jumbled up that my life doesn't feel like my own anymore. I know I'm not the type of guy who would leave his family, but right now they don't feel like my family. At least not any more than you and Natalie do. I just don't know if I can keep on living the life that everyone else thinks I'm supposed to live."

"I-I don't think I should be the one to try to help you with this."

Blaine rose from the table, feeling like he had overstepped his bounds. "Yeah, I'm sorry. I was probably out of line to say so much, but you were the first person I recognized and maybe that's why I feel more drawn to you than anyone. You can just forget what I said."

Blaine looked so lost and pathetic that Reese couldn't help feeling sorry for him. "No, it's okay. If you need someone to talk to you can talk to me."